Decade
by lovelikeallhopeislost
Summary: "If it's been four years, assume I'm dead" It's been ten, and Zach still hasn't given up hope - Oneshot.


_"If it's been four years, assume I'm dead" It's been ten, and Zach still hasn't given up hope._

* * *

Dedicated song: Because You Live - Jesse McCartney

* * *

_A thirty four year old shouldn't be doing this._

_A thirty four year old should be_ living.

Zach wanted to give up. Zach wanted to stop caring. Zach wanted it all to just go away.

Damn the day he met her. Damn the day he fell for that stupidly beautiful smile of hers. Damn the day he realised he was in love with her.

It's been ten _years_. Such a long time for so many people.

Even longer for Zachary Goode.

He watched and waited every single day for that phone to ring. The phone that would tell him that she was home - whether that be in a box or in a hospital bed.

He'd blamed everybody. Bex for not being there, the Director for sending her on that stupid mission in the first place and many more people.

But he mostly blamed himself.

He'd ignored his phone for days until he finally checked his voicemail.

Days without her were always painful, so Zach had the tendency to completely shut himself off from the rest of the world until she was back. And of course, consequently, his phone.

Two of the voicemails he received were from her.

"Hey Zach, how are you dear? Just checking in. I'll be home in a few days and I can't wait! See you then"

Dated three days ago.

She'd sounded so excited in that one.

"Zach. Please. Pick up. It's an emergency. Zach, please? I need you"

Dated two days ago.

She'd sounded so desperate. So lost. So _scared_.

The final one was from the director, from an hour previously.

"Zachary, I'm sorry, but Cameron Morgan is officially MIA"

_Guilt_. It was the only feeling he had left. Toms and tons of guilt.  
She needed him. And where was he? Nowhere.

Ten years worth of guilty feelings and pent up emotions is enough to carry as a load. Nothing else mattered.

It started out small. Small-scale leads that quickly resolved into nothing.

That multiplied. Theories turned into facts in his eyes and things began to all into place in his head.

He soon completed his jigsaw.

_But no Cammie_.

He knew all along, of course, that all of it, all of his 'pieces' were a lie. That he had nothing.

But it was the hope that it was fact that kept him going.

The hope that one day, she'll come home.

They could get married.

Have a family.

Be so in _love_.

_It's been ten years._

_She's not coming back._

Zach was like a car that had no fuel, yet still managed to keep going.

It was just all sapped out of him the day she went.

The hope was the only thing he had left, so he grasped it with own arms and welcomed it.

It was his drive; his motivation was too flawed.

Not like her. She was perfect.

_If only she were here._

He needed her. He wouldn't even bother to deny it.

She was just so her, just so Cammie.

It was like she was an addiction and Zach had officially gone cold turkey.

He should really give up. Finally admit defeat.

_No. She's out there. Somewhere._

_He'll find her, no matter what._

* * *

_She's here._

_She's here._

_She's alive._

The phone had been dropped as soon as the words were spoken. Zach had ran out of the flat and didn't stop running until he got to the hospital. Lack of practice in the past years meant that his lungs felt like they were about to burst. But _Cammie_.

Two hours waiting seemed too long. The hard seat was uncomfortable and the glances of concern at his ragged breathing and repeated tapping of his foot from the others in the waiting room were starting to get on his nerves.

_Cammie, Cammie. Must see Cammie._

A middle aged woman entered the waiting room with a wailing baby.

He didn't notice.

A man in his late sixties came in with a broken leg.

He didn't care.

All he needed was Cammie.

_Now_.

* * *

As soon as he saw her, Zach nearly collapsed.

He wanted to reach out and touch her. To caress her skin and just _Cammie Cammie Cammie Cammie..._

He'd never thought it would come to this. _Ten years_.

The hospital bed's white sheets matched the colour of her skin. She was so thin and frail. Like she'd been torn at the edges. _Like paper_.

She looked so delicate. So peaceful. So _real_ in the most un-real way.

_She's here._

_She's alive._

_She's going to be okay._

She won't wake up for another couple of hours, but that's okay, because Zach won't leave her side.

Never again.

_Never, ever again._

* * *

Zach's eyelids shot open in a hurry.

_Cammie_.

She was awake. Propped up in her hospital bed and looking right at him.

_**Cammie**_.

"What did I say? Four years. Not ten" It was barely a croak but Cammie _spoke_.

Tears were trickling down his face but he didn't care. For the first time in ten years, he didn't stop them.

"I'd never leave you, Cam. I couldn't"

_She was perfect. Scars and all; perfect._

Cammie's face was equally as soaked and one quick lock of eye contact was all it took for Zach to walk up to Cammie and plant a kiss on her lips.

No words needed to be spoken between them after that. It was just all _skin_ and _lips_ and _Cammie Cammie Cammie_.

The guilt and anger and sadness and everything they were feeling just went into the kiss. They could taste their own fat, salty tears but they didn't care.

Fingers fiddled with hair; hands lay on cheeks. It was just _Cammie Zach Cammie Zach._

When they finally broke apart, they took in the other's downtrodden appearance and smiled.

_She's home_.

* * *

**Here's a tissue. *gives you a tissue***

**I tried to make it as angsty as possible. Did it work?**

**I don't usually even ask, but please review this? I just love reviews. They make my day.**


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